The earth has yielded its harvest; God, our God, Blesses us.”  Psalm 67:7

Today I return to writing about God’s gifts in our lives!   It seemed to me that everywhere I turned this summer I heard retirement conversations going on and those same conversations caused me pause.  My cousin Charlie, my brother in law Larry, my friend Herman all talked about the event with an excitement which made me stop and think.   Questions surfaced, Do I want to retire?  When? Why? What would I do if I didn’t go to work?  Questions swirled through my mind, an endless and consuming battle raged inward.

Without advanced warning;  I awakened  in the middle of the night to this small peaceful space within me. I realized in that moment I was finished with paid work!  From that point each day in prayer, clarity came as friend and deep comfort surrounded my spirit.  Of course I am done I said to myself; I have worked for many long years.  Years of providing for our family in a small yet consistent way I had done my part and it was time to let go.

The surprising thing is that when I let go an amazing thing happened.   When I spoke with my boss he seemed open and aligned in agreement with a decision I had already made.  As I write this meditation we are in discussion about my departure date!  It certainly hasn’t been the way in which I thought it would happen; but like so many things in life transformation happens in the twinkling of an eye!

As I anticipate fall harvest I feel a deep connection with the earth.  This season of life is when one is able to see the abundance of what the earth has brought forth.  Being a farmer I realize sometimes a crop seems small while other years are abundant and overflowing.   The same seems true for a life.  Some years seemed more fruitful than others; some years seemed as though the earth’s parched dry wind stripped the ground of life itself.  Yet as I ponder the terrain I realize that my one constant has always been the sense that God is with me.  No matter what the circumstance or the challenge I experience God’s loving presence in my prayer and meditation on life and the harvest becomes a deep sense of gratitude for what I have been given.  The opportunity to live- grow- and love more deeply than I ever anticipated or thought possible is the real harvest in life.

I have received so much more than I have given and for this I am grateful.  Grateful God saw fit to allow me a life to live!  So as I enter retirement in the not so far off future I am filled with growing excitement as another chapter in my life is unfolding.  More questions form within my spirit.  Where will my passion lead me and draw me more closely to the mystery of life?  Life harvest is about gratitude without judgment.  I am grateful for the strength to continue moving forward.  As my 90 year old mother said;  “No one ever tells us the golden years would be like this.”  Truth is no one knows what lies in front of us and in some mysterious way this is the gift.  I have today to enjoy.  It will be either a heavenly experience or a hellish nightmare; I have no way of knowing for certain.  I only know that if I trust God and clean house as the folks in AA say I am doing my part in making it the best day possible.  So onward and upward!  It is great to be back writing!  M

 

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I am a licensed clinical social worker who believes there can be no situation in this world which has not first and foremost found it’s home within my own heart and soul so let me always begin there and transform my beliefs, attitudes, and evaluations before tackling the world’s problems.
Mary Agnes Rawlings, LCSW

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