Donald-J, Donald-J!

Here am I, Here am I, the greatest that there is.

Donald-J, I want you to take your sons, your favorite sons, the ones that have signed up to respond to your every whim, who have agreed to wear the brocade and lanyard, who you love for their loyalty. I want you to take them to the highest point where they will participate in honoring the Deity.

Of course, of course. I will gladly participate in being honored. Let me get my sons. We will harness our finest B1 airships and I will have two of my support battalions accompany us.

We shall leave early in the morning and be there within three hours. We shall see the place from afar and from on high—with our eyes lifted to 42000 feet, from where all seemingly great distances appear small.

And Donald-J said to the support battalions, await here while the bombardiers and I go forward. And the chief bombardier said, Honorable Sir. And he said speak. And he said I see the planes, I see the bombs, but even here—at only three hours distance—I see not any authorized targets. Not to worry, my loyal captain. As we get even closer to the time it will become clear. And they got closer, and the bombardier noticed that the bombs have been armed but the bomb bays had not been unlocked.

And Donald-J noted that the bombardier was properly belted into his seat and he took the button into his hand, ready to press it to release the explosive hammer.

And the Conscience of the Nation called out to him—Donald-J, Donald-J. And he said, Here am I, Here am I, the greatest that there is. And the Conscience of the Nation said, lay not a finger on the button. Do not destroy the future of your nation. For many millions of descendents will descend from him and his colleagues. In them and in the work of their hands, the produce of their factories, the libraries of their writings, will the future of justice depend.

So Donald-J and his support battalions returned. They rose up and gained altitude and descended to Andrews and the District.

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Richard Heiberger is co-chair of Pnai Or Philadelphia. For the past few years his project has been to write and understand modern mythology. His project has recently morphed into an attempt to understand the incompatible political mythologies that have led the US to our current national trauma. His day job is Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Temple University in Philadelphia. Since retiring he has been teaching one graduate course per semester, usually “Statistical Computing”.


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