An Israeli threat.

She acts and critics attack.

Supporters defend.

It is a “Rinse, Wash, Repeat” haiku that works in whatever sequence you want to place your emphasis, especially if you don’t care whether you violate the rules of haiku or the rules of stasis.But Israel and its difficulties can’t be condensed to simple English imitations of Japanese haikus.

So let’s try imitation proverbs that nicely align with the imitation Israel-Palestine peace process.

Here’s the first:The enemy of your enemy may still be your enemy. (This is especially true if, like Israel, you have a fairly expansive definition of “enemies,” and a limited qualification standard for friendship.)

And the second: Your real friends may insist you change. (After years of entrenched behavior, they may want you to remember your dreams or imagine your own potential.)

Unfortunately Israel’s expansive definition of”enemies” crosses over into its qualification standards for friendship. Call it Israel’s “if you don’t live here, you have no right to criticize” friendship duty. Your role, should you wish to join the pro-Israel friendship club, is to always support Israel in public.

Should you disagree, that must be done privately or you aren’t a real friend: It’s a hostile world and Israel must, at a minimum, ensure unanimity among its base — the (sometimes literal) Occupy Israel supporters.

This includes AIPAC members. With a membership base of around 1% of American Jews, they have historically defended, lobbied and contributed more successfully (and with far more organizational structure) than a significant number of the other 99% of American Jews who, while choosing not to be AIPAC members, are also choosing to become more detached from a country they feel no longer mirrors their values or welcomes their support. Only the strong can survive their journey outside of the comfort zone and protective wing of the vocal 1%.

Count me as one of those survivors.

Until I wrote my last article on the Christians United For Israel (CUFI) controversy, I was considered to be a reasonable sort — not AIPAC material, but one of the few “good” J Street supporters. Of course, like all of J Street’s 170,000 supporters, I was still embarrassingly wrong and misguided on Israel. But at least I was someone you didn’t have to fear would stab Israel in the front of a BumpSpot blog, which is also now read in Tikkun, The Middle East Post and by Twitter-ites from all around the world, including some deep in the heart of Israel and Palestine. (The real Twitter village may be at the local J.C.C. for all I know. The odds that I’m reading my site visitor statistics correctly are somewhat lower than getting me to actually use my wife’s opera tickets during the middle of the N.F.L. playoffs.Just because I agreed to attend with her, in a fit of compromise a few arguments ago,doesn’t override what everyone knows is an implied marriage vow football exception.)

But I digress.

Let’s get back to my last article and its message: The embrace of CUFI has coincided with the virtual exclusion of a large number of pro-Israel Jews. These Jews still strongly support Israel, but they also advocate for Israel to take actions that they feel will help it remain more true to its original values. Unfortunately, Israel won’t always punch their tickets to board the pro-Israel train unless these supporters line up straighter behind the government’s line and agree to take a journey with Israeli conductors who seem to have little idea of their ultimate long-term destination.

Step into the AIPAC section. Or ride with the newest passenger, the deeply exclusionary Emergency Committee For Israel, a Republican operatives-led effort to divide and separate good pro-Israel support (aka Republican) from weak and questionable pro-Israel support (aka Democratic). It’s Israel as a Democratic-Republican wedge issue right up there with tax and spending cuts, national health care, global warming, Canadian pipelines, gays in the military over church in the schools andNewt’s fictional Palestinian people over the all-too-real Israeli settlers.

If Israel chooses to embrace CUFI and all of the values-disconnect and end-times baggage that comes along withPastor Hagee’s evangelical ride, then shouldn’t Israel’s leaders, if they still see that it’s possible for Israel to be a democratic homeland for the Jewish people, embrace more of Diaspora Jewry, even the Jewish groups that may annoy it when they advocate for more proactive Israeli actions to reach a peace agreement with the Palestinians or more progressive internal policies to deal with social, economic or religious issues? What strategic purpose (unless it is to further prune your Jewish-supporters’ list) is served by closing your playground to the Jews who don’t actually live in your neighborhood, just because they won’t play by your sandbox support rules? You can wrap Pastor Hagee in a tallit and hand him a shofar to broadcast his love of Jews and of Israel, but at the end of the day his “end of the day” differs. Dramatically.

So what does it suggest when Israel’s largest group of American supporters are evangelical Christians, when Israel has to actually restate that it’s against the law to require women to ride in the back of public buses that run through ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods, when West Bank settlers who attack Palestinian holy sites and Israeli military outposts are treated under more favorable rules than Palestinians who attack Jewish holy sites and Israeli soldiers or when Israel’s Foreign Minister still views Israel’s security as best preserved by managing the peace process by focusing on building settlements and security barriers and demonizing Palestinian leadership than by proactively building a platform for successful peace negotiations? Could this, just perhaps, suggest a need for new Israeli leadership and a need for pro-Israel American Jewish groups to adopt a different approach?

Let’s call it”friends don’t let friends drive drunk” pro-Israel advocacy. Although this could destroy the hobbyists who love engaging in their fantasy Middle East War Leagues, where who won what issue or tactic is endlessly scored, what Israel most needs is the type of visionary leadership that can end these games. What Israel needs are leaders who can paint a picture of what a step by step peace process will look like and what the benefits will be, much more than they take comfort in following policies that effectively cause Israelis and Palestinians to wallow in a nightmarish cycle of hate, mistrust and violence that impairs everyone’s future.

A quick reset: I know my last sentence is unbalanced.I haven’t equally criticized the Palestinians. I haven’t pointed out their terrorism, missiles, failed leadership, anti-Israel educational system and whatever else it is that the Middle East Fantasy War Leagues score.That’s all true.

But it is the one with more power and leverage that is most able to affect change. We do need two to tango, but if one of the partners doesn’t have all of the moves, then there’s no harm in the other partner extending extra effort to get to the end of the dance.That’s if the other partner believes it can work to build up its partner and it is truly in their best interest to get to the end of the dance. The present Israeli government is clearly not there yet.

It should be a concern when Israel’s most reliable defense to criticism is to point to a hypocritical world that ignores Israel’s neighborhood. Is measuring Israel’s actions against Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Jordan and Syria the new math? Is exceeding low standards progress? Does suggesting that Israel may not be perfect, but at least women can drive (even if they can’t always count on sitting unopposed in the front of certain buses through ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods) capture the new Zionist dream?

Let’s focus on that. Not the driving part, but the standards part.

Israelis held to a different standard.And Israel and its true supporters should want that. The world already has enough anti-democratic,misogynistic, corrupt, or just plain evil governments. Israel, a country serving as the safe house for a people who, only a few generations ago – an eye blink in history – suffered from a maniacal hatred that destroyed almost half of its people, and a country that has already given the world so much, can’t risk venturing anywhere near its neighbors’ associative quicksand bypassing laws that threaten Israel’s democracy,proposing laws that many argue will weaken dissent, equality and human rights or by engaging in“we’ll show you” settlement building. That merely ensures a more entrenched and expanded pool of enemies, weakens Israel’s relationship with its key supporters and further delays the opportunity to have asuccessful “two state” negotiation with the Palestinians.

That moves us to the Tom Friedman controversy.

The prominent New York Times columnist and book author wrote an editorial that outlined American Jewish concerns with Israel’s future. But instead of focusing on Friedman’s essential points, two key members of Israel’s rapid response team —AJC and Israeli Ambassador Michael Oren — focused on a sloppy sentence about Congress giving Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu an ovation that “was bought and paid for by the Israel lobby.” The focus should have been on Friedman’s main message: Israel is losing American Jewish support as it pursues policies that tend to create more distance from its core Jewish supporters. Friedman’s poor word choice is a moment in time. Israel’s future is not.

It’s easy to attack critics. It’s hard to start moving to make the type of changes necessary to stop Israel’s gradual drift into a country that, a generation from now, American Jews and American political leadership will possibly see as more closely resembling Iran than the Zionist vision of Israel.

Many Israel supporters will no doubt see that as an overstated or even a ridiculous portrait. But considering Israel’s ultra-Orthodox and Palestinian birth rate, the severe reduction in aliyah (perhaps even a negative imbalance between immigration and emigration), and the absence of a two state peace agreement between Palestine and Israel, it is not difficult to see Israel having to face incremental decisions affecting its democratic and Jewish nature. Does anyone seriously doubt that democracy will lose out when Israel is forced to face decisions affecting Israel’s raison d’etre as a homeland for the Jewish people?

The fundamental reason for American Jewish and governmental support of Israel is because of a strong values connection.Israel also provides the United States with a regional security benefit. As the first reason slowly evaporates and as the second is possibly attenuated by a stronger Turkey, what is, may no longer be.

At that point, the apocryphal Obama-lack-of-support-for-Israel controversy could easily transition into a very real United States and American Jewish reduction in support for Israel controversy. But if Israel’s attention remains overly focused on reacting to what others do and say more than the strategically important actions it needs to take then Israel’s next action is just as likely to be investigating the Hellenists’ historical responsibility for preventing the menorah oil lasting for more than eight days than it is to focus on the substantive steps it needs to take to right its course.

Pray that’s not the case, if only to avoid another haiku leading my next column about Israel’s controversies.