Comments on: Making Room for Being Different http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/ A Voice for Tikkun Olam (healing the world) Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:04:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Diane Emerson http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/comment-page-1/#comment-15535 Diane Emerson Fri, 13 Aug 2010 09:48:28 +0000 http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/?p=15162#comment-15535 Dear Miki: I loved the image of "making room for myself and making room for others". That is what it is all about, isn't it? Another of your paragraphs really struck a chord with me: The difficulty has always been what to do with my difference. In my habitual way of being, whenever I have had a response that's different from another person's I could only see two options. One was to hide my response, suppress my difference, not ask for what I want, and endure the pain of inauthenticity, which is for me pretty excruciating and vivid. The other was to express my response, share my difference, or ask for what I want, and risk (and often experience) the pain of disconnection or conflict. I have lived my life like this too, until I learned about NonViolent Communication. It is still difficult for me to share my difference and ask for what I want, but NonViolent Communication has helped me tremendously in reducing the pain of conflict when I do choose to express my response. I offer it to you in case you have not heard of it. www.cnvc.org I have created a card which summarizes the process, and would be happy to send one to you if you would like. In peace and gratitude for your sharing, Diane Dear Miki:
I loved the image of “making room for myself and making room for others”. That is what it is all about, isn’t it?

Another of your paragraphs really struck a chord with me:
The difficulty has always been what to do with my difference. In my habitual way of being, whenever I have had a response that’s different from another person’s I could only see two options. One was to hide my response, suppress my difference, not ask for what I want, and endure the pain of inauthenticity, which is for me pretty excruciating and vivid. The other was to express my response, share my difference, or ask for what I want, and risk (and often experience) the pain of disconnection or conflict.

I have lived my life like this too, until I learned about NonViolent Communication. It is still difficult for me to share my difference and ask for what I want, but NonViolent Communication has helped me tremendously in reducing the pain of conflict when I do choose to express my response. I offer it to you in case you have not heard of it. http://www.cnvc.org I have created a card which summarizes the process, and would be happy to send one to you if you would like. In peace and gratitude for your sharing, Diane

]]> By: Martin Cone http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/comment-page-1/#comment-14492 Martin Cone Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:45:18 +0000 http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/?p=15162#comment-14492 It's good to be me, unique and not trying to fit in; not trying to prove anything to anybody. Trying to fit in only mushes up the beauty of our essentialness. I grew up feeling like a weirdo freak. But, it's ok to be a weirdo freak; it doesn't bother me any more. I know I am a bit eccentric. That's ok. Sometimes I feel others judging me and feel a momentary "Gyaaah!!" as my empathy picks up on their attitude. But, then I realize that what is really weird is other peoples inability to accept me as I am. Besides, when you are a jock, you don't know if the girls like you because you're of you inside, or just because you are spunky. And if they only like you cause you are spunky, is it ever going to be a life long freindship, or just a passing infatuation? It’s good to be me, unique and not trying to fit in; not trying to prove anything to anybody. Trying to fit in only mushes up the beauty of our essentialness. I grew up feeling like a weirdo freak. But, it’s ok to be a weirdo freak; it doesn’t bother me any more. I know I am a bit eccentric. That’s ok. Sometimes I feel others judging me and feel a momentary “Gyaaah!!” as my empathy picks up on their attitude. But, then I realize that what is really weird is other peoples inability to accept me as I am.

Besides, when you are a jock, you don’t know if the girls like you because you’re of you inside, or just because you are spunky. And if they only like you cause you are spunky, is it ever going to be a life long freindship, or just a passing infatuation?

]]> By: Aaaron http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/comment-page-1/#comment-14481 Aaaron Mon, 02 Aug 2010 09:22:05 +0000 http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/?p=15162#comment-14481 Thanks you! I grew up in a sports mad place. I a big heterosexual white male, but I don't find any intrest in sports, am not intested in ploitics, have not had a "real" job till in my 30s, & to cap it all am incredibly sensitive and gentle. I have often wished I could be a jock - get the girls - get the job - makle the money. But I make art, and I now teach. What a gift to be able to think I can be that & maybe share it with otehrs without feeling like a freak. Thanks you! I grew up in a sports mad place. I a big heterosexual white male, but I don’t find any intrest in sports, am not intested in ploitics, have not had a “real” job till in my 30s, & to cap it all am incredibly sensitive and gentle. I have often wished I could be a jock – get the girls – get the job – makle the money. But I make art, and I now teach. What a gift to be able to think I can be that & maybe share it with otehrs without feeling like a freak.

]]> By: marcia http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/comment-page-1/#comment-14233 marcia Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:25:52 +0000 http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/?p=15162#comment-14233 Thankyou for your remarks and I am also finding at sixty, it is easier to be different and involved when we are not attached to the outcome of the process. I live as a lesbian in a rural part of Canada and when I expect homophobia, it seems to happen but when I enter dialogue with groundedness and peacefulness about my difference, people respect and like me as I am... it also gets easier each time I take the risk and decide that the difference does not really matter. thanks again and I really enjoy your writing... I read your piece on power to my abusive mens group and an alcoholic abusive male asked me for a copy... I have no idea why and it does not matter... all seeds into the sky.. marcia Thankyou for your remarks and I am also finding at sixty, it is easier to be different and involved when we are not attached to the outcome of the process. I live as a lesbian in a rural part of Canada and when I expect homophobia, it seems to happen but when I enter dialogue with groundedness and peacefulness about my difference, people respect and like me as I am… it also gets easier each time I take the risk and decide that the difference does not really matter. thanks again and I really enjoy your writing… I read your piece on power to my abusive mens group and an alcoholic abusive male asked me for a copy… I have no idea why and it does not matter… all seeds into the sky.. marcia

]]> By: Ronelle Moehrke http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2010/07/29/making-room-for-being-different/comment-page-1/#comment-14192 Ronelle Moehrke Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:33:37 +0000 http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/?p=15162#comment-14192 Thank you so much for your thoughts...I don't imagine it's too unusual to feel "different" - though i indeed have felt very different as far back as i can remember - i now know it's because my mother was Native American and she chose to pass and to not tell her children their heritage. Therefore i had no grandmother, grandfather - aunt, uncle, etc..and she was very disturbed. I had no one to help me with her emotional tirades - no one to point out that she was suffering from PTSD and she passed that on to me..it has taken a lifetome to get through all that - I am now better at feeling different - I try as best I can to simply say - I AM! Sincerely Ronnie Moehrke Thank you so much for your thoughts…I don’t imagine it’s too unusual to feel “different” – though i indeed have felt very different as far back as i can remember – i now know it’s because my mother was Native American and she chose to pass and to not tell her children their heritage. Therefore i had no grandmother, grandfather – aunt, uncle, etc..and she was very disturbed. I had no one to help me with her emotional tirades – no one to point out
that she was suffering from PTSD and she passed that on to me..it has taken a lifetome to get through all that – I am now better at feeling different – I try as best I can to simply say – I AM!
Sincerely
Ronnie Moehrke

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