Becoming a Prayer
by: Elizabeth Cunningham on May 18th, 2010 | 31 Comments »
We usually think of praying as something we do, a prayer as something we say or perhaps read, aloud or silently. But if a singer is one who sings, a writer one who writes, a dancer one who dances, and so forth, we could say that a prayer is one who prays. If we pray, we are prayers.
The daughter of an Episcopal priest, I grew up with the sonorous, sometimes terrifying language of The 1928 Book of Common Prayer. From the General Confession this phrase has always stayed with me. “We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickednesses.” (I still love that second plural.)
Quaker Meeting was my first experience of silent corporate prayer. In what I called “the womb of silence” different images of the divine emerged, especially feminine ones. In time, longing for music and ritual led me out of Quaker Meeting to form a non-institutional, earth-centered community. At length I also became an ordained interfaith minister.
Here are some things I am learning about praying/being a prayer:
If you pray for someone (or something), prepare to be part of the answer.
Raging at the divine is fine. Go for it at the top of your lungs. Exhaust yourself. Then…listen.
Help! Help! is a good prayer. The answer may come in bizarre (often humorous) forms. Be alert.
You can pray with your body; you can pray with your breath; you can pray with your touch; you can pray with your presence.
Singing and dancing and drumming can be prayer.
Aligning with the elements, the waxing and waning moon and sun, the seasons of the earth, the plants and animals is prayer.
Gratitude and kindness are always prayers.
You do not have to have a belief system to pray. You do not have to have a fixed opinion about where the divine resides or if the divine as a noun exists. All our words and images are metaphors to help us connect with the mystery, the intimately known and unknown.
Writing a novel can be a prayer. Dreaming can be prayer. Cooking can be prayer. Eating can be prayer. Making love can be prayer. This list could go on and on.
A recent experience of prayer:
Something I am calling “world sorrow” for lack of another term, when the boundaries between you and “all that is” disappear for a time, and you sorrow with the earth, as the earth. Many people have become this kind of prayer during the oil spill disaster and other world sorrows.
A recent definition of prayer from my tai chi teacher who also teaches shamanic practice:
“When you pray for someone you become, for a moment, the creator.”
I remember those moments when I have seen someone without the filter of my hopes or concerns for them, which can all too easily take on the tinge of judgment or control. Those moments are startling, illuminating, humbling.
Praying without ceasing:
If we become prayers, we can. If we become prayers, we are.



Amen!
Amen, brother!
my heart is full of prayer of gratitude for this and for you – walking in the autumn sunshine and finding mushrooms to give to my friend is like a prayer!
Jane, you are a prayer, always!
Very Beauty-full, very true
I love that word: beauty-full. Thank you!
Elizabeth ~ This is such beautifully written gift. I am grateful that we have had the opportunity to pray together often, in many of the ways mentioned above and on many occasions. It brought a smile to my face to think of it my good fortune.
Dear Elizabeth,
Your words about prayer/becomming prayer are richly true.
Here’s one of my own experiences that psalmed into a poem:
As I was about to pray
I heard a bird
chirping outside my window.
What are my prayers
to this beautiful sound?
So I folded my prayers
in the song of the bird
in the wings of the song
rising to God.
– Richard Cambridge
Richard, I love this poem. Thank you!
Wonderful truths for such a vital part of our lives-prayer-that link to the Divine within and without us. Thank you Elizabeth for your words, thoughts and sharing spirit.
Thank you so much for reading and responding. I am sure you are a beautiful prayer!
Beautiful prayers that you all are, thank you so much for reading and responding to this post. It is wonderful to be connected this way.
Prayers for the Wounded Warriors Incarcerated suffering from untreated combat PTSD/Traumatic Brain Injury/Survivor’s Guilt.
The War Widows Ministry John l4:12 “Because you believe in Me (TRUTH) GREATER works will you do than I for i go to My Father” healing Hebrews 6:6 “We crucify Christ (TRUTH) afresh and put Christ to an open shame.”
The War Widows
Thank you for this prayer. I add mine to yours.
Dear Elizabeth,
As someone who has been involved in NVC groups and is presently doing an online class on the fullness of life, and also as someone who had absolutely no religious upbringing and who doesn’t believe in “God” as a noun with its usual religious meaning of an all-powerful father figure watching (or lording) over us and all the rest of the usual restrictive meanings going along with that, I love what you have written here, especially the part:
“You do not have to have a belief system to pray. You do not have to have a fixed opinion about where the divine resides or if the divine as a noun exists. All our words and images are metaphors to help us connect with the mystery, the intimately known and unknown.”
To me, this is beautiful and inclusive.
Also, I like:
“Singing and dancing and drumming can be prayer.
Aligning with the elements, the waxing and waning moon and sun, the seasons of the earth, the plants and animals is prayer.”
I’d just add that perhaps one’s ‘noticing’ the moon and the sun, the seasons, the plants and animals is prayer. Would you agree that prayer is a meditation and as such its importance is that it can open our hearts to a deeper connection with the mystery?
It is nice to think that “Gratitude and kindness are always prayers”. It makes the ‘needs’ of NVC even more beautiful and gives me a nice warm feeling!
Fullness of life! What a beautiful thing to be a student of!
Thank You.
Now I will pray.
Thank you!
I noted earlier that we would be grateful for Elizabeth Cunningham’s new presence. This is a fine, fine description of prayer and an encouragement about its use and the radical vulnerability it evokes. I am an Episcopal priest, and prayer has been one of the most difficult challenges of my 25 years of priesthood. There are times when I feel very far from friendly to God let alone my friends. I have learned to simply be present in such times and let prayer happen anyway. Thank you Elizabeth!
Thank you and thanks again for your warm welcome!
What an amazing and beautiful piece and, in my life, incredibly timely. Thank you!
And thank you!
Your meaningful way of describing prayer, reminds me of these words of Silo, a Spiritual Guide to me and to thousand others worldwides, ” Learn to recognize the signs of the sacred within you and around you” – where from, this gift, can be given and be received thus warming each other’s body, heart and mind as one.
Thank you for the wonderful quotation.
Thank you so much for this very broad view of prayer. It is so good to hear someone trying to find a common ground that can be shared among those who hold traditional beliefs and those who do not.
I always think it is wise to keep in mind that if prayer contains any petitionary elements they are best directed to the “greater good” as opposed to our own wishes and desires. For example in praying for someone who is sick we must acknowledge that their illness may serve some greater purpose we have no idea about and the greater good we pray for may involve allowing the illness to take its course.
Having the humility and acceptance to acknowledge that we may not know what the greater good is in a given situation would allow us to trust that our prayers will help the right thing happen, even if that is contrary to the outcome we hope for.
Thanks for this insight about petitionary prayer!
Thank you Elizabeth for your wonderful piece on practicing Presence.
I just completed a three year training program in Spiritual Direction and we devoted alot of time, energy and love towards deepening our experience of prayer both for ourselves and for those with whom we are working. You put it beautifully and I am grateful to you for creating such a lovely opening for others who are moving towards a more expansive prayer experience.
Many of the “directees” with whom I work are seeking prayerforms that transcend the institutional. For those people who are too activated by traditional prayers that contain language or concepts that feel constricting we look at where depth is experienced in their life, and stay in those images, feelings, and experiences as a way of connecting to what is sacred in their life in an expansive way. Unfortunately in our culture, experiencing Spirit always seems to be defined by engaging wholeheartedly in some kind of unifying system.
And this is fine for those whose hearts and minds are opened by the precepts and prayers of their religion or spiritual practice. In my own spiritual direction I learned that for those times when my heart is already in an opened place (opened, say to the Mystery) sitting with a candle, and practicing what we call Presence in spiritual direction, is all I need. Another form of praying that works for me is to work creatively in what I call my prayer journal. The night before, I take my journal, apply layers of acryllic paint, find and pray over images or words from magazines, or other sources, glue them in, create a visually sacred space, let the words and images grow in me and pray and write in the journal the next morning. The whole thing feels like a prayer.
I am very grateful to you for this thread. Blessings, Renna
Renna, thank you so much for sharing your experiences of prayer. I love the idea of your prayer journal. You must be a wonderful spiritual director. Thank you!
Elizabeth: thank you so much. I hope you will be writing more on the TIkkun blog; yes? Are you in the SF Bay Area? Are there any other places where I can read your writings? Thanks, blessings, Renna
“world sorrow” “…the prevailing mood of melancholy and pessimism associated with the poets of the Romantic era that arose from their refusal or inability to adjust to those realities of the world that they saw as destructive of their right to subjectivity and personal freedom – a phenomenon thought to typify Romanticism commonly called Weltschmertz.
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