My “Sexy” Response
by: Joshua Stanton on December 9th, 2009 | 3 Comments »
Over the past week, people have affirmed and questioned an article I wrote, entitled “Sexy Jewish Stereotypes.” Most recently, Dave Belden wrote a counter-article, “Sexy Jewish Stereotypes — Questions.” I, for one, have been grateful for the opportunity to speak openly about issues that too often are left unsaid — namely sexuality and the way in which it is perceived. (Another interesting discussion on the subject just came out in the Journal of Inter-Religious Dialogue this fall and may be worth a gander.)
I appreciate Dave’s concern that sexuality and the notion of being “sexy” may contribute to the pressure that everyone, and women in particular, face to adhere to external standards of beauty. It may even push some people to become one-dimensional. But negating the sexuality and beauty of the human body is similarly problematic, if not more so: such traits are inherent to our bodies — could ignoring, subordinating, or sublimating one of the many prominent characteristics that we as humans hold ever be healthy? Even in ultra-traditional Jewish thought, in which modesty is praised, the idea of humans as inherently sexual beings — and beautiful, miraculous beings at that — is widely accepted. It is considered further evidence of the idea that we were made in God’s image.
While I have very much benefitted from a number of comments on Sexy Jewish Stereotypes, one in particular stands out in my mind. It is a cautionary e-mail from a friend in rabbinical school, excerpted here:
….I think that this new-found “sexiness” for Jews, especially Jewish women, is totally suspect. I don’t know if this thought was in the back of your mind when you wrote the blog, Josh, and it may well have been. But it struck me immediately, and I wanted to respond to it. This sexy Jewishness smacks of something similar to the “blacksploitation” of the 70s. Sure, back then, suddenly “black was beautiful,” but blackness was also just being made “other” in only a slightly different way… into something “sexy” precisely because it was ethnic, other, “exotic.” This acceptance of the female Jewish body as sexy in the last two decades or so seems to be — while certainly better than anti-Semitism — just another way to exoticize the “other” in a long tradition of doing so and to fetishize Jews on some level.
While I do not agree with all that was said, I did find my colleague’s points to be both persuasive and disconcerting. They leave me full of questions. Can stereotypes ever truly be positive? Can Jews ever just be allowed to lead ordinary lives and become ‘mainstream’? Would we, as Jews, ever want to? Are “sexy” stereotypes about Jewish women truly a sign of progress in the fight against anti-Semitism? If so, where do we go from here?



Another interesting discussion on the subject just came out in the Journal of Inter-Religious Dialogue this fall and may be worth a gander.
May be worth a goose?
Perhaps! I hope you think so.
All the best,
Josh
LOL to the immediate above.
the word sublimation, is of course from the root “to be sublime.” Sublime is a word which in my words, attempts to convey the inexpressibly precious development of human nature, at its most decent, beautiful and noble. It is the epitome of basic human goodness in the realization of character of any of our ideals of excellence like faithfulness, standing up for truth and justice even at personal cost, overcoming baser human desires (such as using and exploiting others) and developing our own contributions to the arts, sports, philosphy, religion, and humanities that reflect the excellence of which humans are capable.
Living a virtuous life des not mean being a prude or a preacher, at its heart, is happiness, and the capacity to experience a good death knowing one has lived like a true human being: VALUING self and others.
Celebrating the expression of one’s human capcity for goodness and beauty of necessity involves sublimation of appetites. i cannot speak as a Freudian, but the existential philosphers and many religious sages from a wide variety of religions including the Abrahamic traditions pretty much considered maturity and the capstone of a life well-lived to be an individual who is, not ascetic, but compassionate and loving and respectful rather than behaviorally disordered by the addictions that indulgance in appetites with no regard for the harm caused to self and others inevitably causes.
Exhuberant, expressive love-making is a feminist ideal. The objectification of real live humans and the denigration of their capacities and value because of superficial, vain, and shallow measures of their human worth (and their parents’ pocketbooks as expressed in their clothing brands and hairstyles) –to me that is an abomination.
i am speaking from eyewitness of kids who believe in primary school they are failures because they are ugly ducklings on the surface but yet their intrinsic worth has never been respected not does it garner them any capacity for future happiness in our current society . A society enculturating materialism and appetites being sated no matter what the cost to love and human dignity or human transcendance of the “popular” to allow for teh chemistry and attraction to the essential beauty of a person’s soul and body beyond stereotypes and beyond what popular packaging entails.
It has been my blessing to have had an exhuberant and blessed sexuality,which by the grace of God rarely abused to hurt iothers, but in a life with few regrets i still rue those times i did. I also have been given what the then Catholics call “the gift of chastity” –actually post- Catholicism (which i embraced as a child though born Massachusetts WASP) when i became a muslim almost a quarter century ago now.
What i see from both sides now is that sexual license that jades high school kids and gives them STDs and engages them in acrobatics and sexting instead of human connection at the most profoundly sexy (and loving) level is not the same as a healthy and celebratory sexuality. this poem of Nikki Giovanni, a poet who wrote so sublimely at times, but did not love and value herself as much as she valued others, and who could not transcend relational violence, nevertheless is inisghtful on this development of kids:
There is always something to do
There are hungry people to feed
Naked people to clothe
Sick people to comfort and to make well
And while i do not expect you to save the world
i do not think it is asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary
and remove fro your life those who offer you
depression, despair, and disrespect
from Tracy Chapman quoting Nikki in September, 1989 ROLLING STONE