Perhaps my tone was a bit brittle and grumpy yesterday. Of course you should post what’s on your mind, and to a large extent I share your concern and I’m glad you made your points.

It occurred to me while reading the original article that while perceived desirability is of course more flattering in a way than outright negative stereoptyping, in this objectifying, media-circus-dominated culture, it’s really kind of a booby prize (no pun intended!).

The issue of sex is of course a highly charged one, and one of the biggest challenges for any movement that seeks after a truly healthy, countercultural approach to intimate relationships – resisting the commodification of women, men and young people in the process. I mean resisting commodification from both sides, the right and the, um…Right…!

I mean the religious/political Right with their ‘Family Values’-grafted-onto-your-superego mania as well as the serial shallowness and structurelessness of the Media Circus. It’s quite a Scylla and Charybdis to navigate successfully – and it probably won’t look readily marketable. Still, whod’ve thought Matisyahu would have the appeal he has! Not that I’m suggesting we all do a stint with Chabad, of course! – but some ‘unsexy’ things have their own quaint charm!

Michael Baden seems to be onto something, which in a way is oddly similar to what some first-wave feminists were saying – albeit in the sometimes rather moralizing language of their own times – that women can help men reconnect sexual desire with their longing for love and safety (that can, of course, happen the other way around too – depending on who is the more integrated partner).

A word from Martin Buber presents a real challenge to me:

“…indeed, if in all the much discussed erotic philosophy of the age we were to leave out of account everything that involved experience in relation to the I, that is, every situation in which the one is not present to the other…but merely enjoys itself in the other – what then would be left?” [I and Thou p65].

I had major “naked blogger” anxieties after writing that post because I was delving into such a huge topic and not able to give it the time it deserved or get feedback from anyone before posting it. I have been in deep deadline mania these last few days rushing towards our next print magazine deadline so still don’t have time to really think about people’s comments.

Sex! The hardest thing for me to write about, I’d say. But the point of a blog in some ways is to be ourselves, in both the posts and the comments, including revealing what we don’t know and are struggling to understand: it’s not to prove we have the smartest approach but rather to hunt for it together. The above comments were in that spirit and I thank you for them.

“What does this say about our readers? Happy for young Jewish women to be free and finally approved by the wider society as hot? Or just in need of some eye candy in a spiritually approved context (it’s on Tikkun after all, it must be permissable)?”

Maybe it doesn’t suggest they’re seeking approval from the goyim or some kind of quasi-halachic permission from the Big Superego In The Sky…

Maybe it just says they can hardly believe anything so trite that it could have been lifted from the pages of Cosmopolitan in ’73 made it into TD!

Peter is right – it’s all hardly news.

BTW, Dave, please desist from misappropriating and misusing the word ‘Aryan’ the way the Nazis did when referring to the Germanic (rather, Nietzchean) concept of the Uebermensch and related ideology. Aryan, properly speaking, means Indo-Iranian, NOT Germanic anything.

Why was the post hit so much? Americans are profoundly repressed around sexuality. Gentile culture is often very afraid of Jews because guilt around the expression of sexuality is lacking for many Jews. That creates both aversion and attraction among gentiles.

The question is not why was this article the most visited, but what are the articles which go the deepest to touch us daily. I read the daily because it is the time of the day when I can take a deep breath, let it out, and give thanks that humanity hasn’t totally flushed its intelligence down the toilet.

As Mirah suggests, the exultation of sexuality is likely a natural and encouraging process, even if it stems from a less genuine source such as pop culture or the fashion industry. And as Dave cautions, one musn’t confuse the sexuality of the airwaves with a mandate that must be followed, nor should anyone base their personal morality upon it in the face of inner doubt, or assume that women (or men) are as one dimensional as chic photography implies.

Taken on its own, I think Elshtain’s comment that Dave posted, “We are moving toward a vision of sexuality that is both mysterious and powerful,” is most telling. Dave’s quoted “timeline” of sexual acceptance and emotional backlash hopefully represents a progression leading us toward a more encompassing, empathetic sexuality. If we reach a point of somewhat Fruedian understanding of sexuality, where we’re all existential and understanding in bed, will we be healthier? Most likely, but in that case a public sexual culture that can be taken with a grain of salt, in light of personal understanding, couldn’t be harmful. Perhaps it become as positive then as Mirah suggests it could be now, without 20th century subtext.

In such a situation, we could celebrate the rise of a less “tainted” notion of Jewish sexuality, without the fears exoticism and “other” labelling. That’d be swell.

Nothing is less sexy than sexual acts where both partners are not excited and engaged. That being said, there are still responses to certain female physical qualities that are, I believe, hard wired into heterosexual men. I think the same is probably true with heterosexual women vis a vis men. You don’t see topless pics of fat old guys in the entertainment mags. Part of maturing, for most of us, is acknowledging that we just don’t live up to media ideals, and that that is normal and ok.

This new classist and economically pumped female object is valued in our messed up world solely for her sexual attractivenesswhich exceeds the critical human experience of herself as a fully whole and relational being.

Why would we be surprised? this is what we have perpetuated with the alpha girl role model of hateful and bullying behavior that has meant that our young are strait jakcketed in their growth as people and spend truillions on cosmetics every year in place of engaging the world in meaningful ways. It means that people’s talents and internal character, their sublimation of their appetites instead of hedonistic nihilistic voracious sating of them are no longer valued…as much as their capacity to stimulate the sexual interest of otehrs. relationships for the long tem are balanced on the women’s back, requiring no effort from the male for longevity or commitment, for their is a fertile field of nubile power seekers who have learned that any male they can attract sexually will be considered to have achieved higher status among his peeers not by experessing qualities that enhance and define us as mature and presious humans like love and loyalty, but by betraying values and expressing his uber-sexuality by exploiting theirs.

this Jewish sexuality article was fascinating and interesting, but also interested in leveling the playing field for the girls who buy into this because it is what our society enculturates. Parents seems to prefer that they have trophy wife and trophy daughters, rather than mensches.And this is true irrespecitive of ethnicity. How beautiful according to creepy stepford wife standards, that is a measure of success.

Anyway this article to me is like a tornado of thoughtful, lvoing, insight and thought provocation in an area that has been stagnant and fetid with the flip side of our increasingly doomed search for more and nmore senstaion in place of more expressive love -making: all the women and girl sex slaves filmed and snuffed and trapped for titillation.

I think there is a fundamental misconception in this article as well as many of the responses to the original post. The misconception is that if a woman is attractive and not trying to hide it, she must be a loose woman. This is a dangerous mistake, and one that has led to female doctors and lawyers being afraid to wear more feminine clothing and have long hair, lest they be perceived to have “slept their way to the top.” I like to think that in 2009 we have progressed past the virgin/whore dichotomy, and realized that attractive women are also successful.

If you still have problems with your “twenty something sisters, daughters or granddaughters” being thought of as sexy, consider the alternative. Would you rather they be thought of as ugly? Or perhaps the best solution is to simply lock away attractive young women for fear that their beauty might bewitch men into attacking them. I, for one, would rather be sexy and successful.