Sil and Eliza Reynolds

On my desk at Tikkun I have a photo of three girls, two boys and me, and the van I used to drive them and my son to school in every day in the Hudson Valley, an hour’s trip. I miss those kids and the wonderful thing that happens to a parent on the school run when you become invisible and they just talk their usual talk with each other. These were such decent and enjoyable young people, it was the thing that kept me going to my not so perfect job near their school. One of them, Eliza Reynolds, just graduated and her mother, Sil, sent me a link to an article they wrote together in Feministing. Here’s Sil’s take, and to get Eliza’s, go visit Feministing, which is well worth checking out:

1. Find a village to raise your child. Take Hilary Clinton’s advice to heart and find village women and men to help you raise your child in a loving and supportive community. You cannot do everything or be everywhere – create that circle for her and for you.

2. Love your body. Then your daughter will be inspired to cherish her own unique feminine body. Teach about what is wrong about those too skinny images that are coming at her every day.

3. While I am on the subject–keep no scales in the house. A number in the morning should not have the right to determine how one feels about oneself.

4. Celebrate the sacred, invite it in, and make room for it in your home. Celebrate your daughter’s menarche even if she resists it. It may be just the two of you (red tulips and strawberries), or a circle of women that hold her.

5. Plant a garden with her if you can find a patch of earth. This will teach her the rhythms of the Earth, the cycles of life and the miracle of starting life from a seed.

6. Teach tolerance and celebrate differences: different bodies, different sexual orientations, different cultures and different points of view. Teach about injustice. Model compassion.

7. Keep talking. Always keep the lines of communication open. If you are having trouble with this, get help.

8. Bring your daughter to your workplace. If you don’t work, bring your daughter to your volunteer place. Make sure she sees you in the world.