The ‘beating’ verse
by: Asma Uddin on July 23rd, 2009 | 7 Comments »
Jurists have created a contradiction that is not in the Qur’an by encouraging divorce and discouraging marriage. In other words, a Muslim woman who wants a divorce must be set free without using force against her, but a Muslim woman who wants to remain married does so under the threat of being beaten. What woman would want to stay married under such circumstances?
The shoresh (root) d-r-b is Hebrew has the sense of “goad” or “spur to action”. I can see how this can easily lead to English “beat” and even to be understood this way in Ivrit (Hebrew) given the correct context, and thus also for Aravit (Arabic), which retains the bedu’i (Bedouin) sense more frequently than modern Hebrew does.
But there are two things I do not understand, Asma.
1. The juxtaposition of a “WASP” image to a Muslim conversation
2. Why you can’t understand why a woman would want to stay in what many might term a “bad relationship”.
Kindest,
Reb Arie
Reb,
The author of the piece, a scholar, will be responding to comments on altmuslimah.com. Do post your questions there!
Also, can you explain a bit more what you mean by (1) above?
Asma
Salaam aleikum, Asma! I will post my question also at altislamah Thanks for the invitation. I am, if you are not aware, a rabbi.
The dolls atop the cake are “Jack” and “Diane” in tuxedo and gown. Why not “Jihad” and “Samah” in galabiya and a fatina-style dress?
I have been to Jewish weddings with such cakes, which include a groom complete with kitl (galabiya), kipa (Arabic is, I believe, “qufa”) and talit (prayershawl). The point here is that the imagery is Jewish even if the custom is not.
Reb A.
Reb Arie,
I don’t think the author has any difficulty with HER understanding!
I believe she was using a rhetorical device to prompt us to reflect on what woman – in her right mind – would want to remain in a marriage where she is being violently attacked by her spouse.
The reason many women (and yes, sometimes men too) remain in abusive relationships is often due to the phenomenon of Traumatic Bonding – as well, of course, as social, economic, and familial considerations…
Oh – and of course the threat (ever-present, in some societies) being mutilated and dismembered by another male member her family as a victim of “honour killing”.
The author is making a broader statement about women/humans and their desire to be in healthy marriages (and not in abusive ones). She is not commenting on women who are in abusive marriages and due to various psychological and economic factors prefer to remain in those marriages instead of leaving.
The point is simply to make sense of Qur’anic text and point out ludicrous interpretations by some jurists, which create the anomaly she speaks of. If you haven’t already, please do check out the full article, linked to above, on Altmuslimah!
Asma,
” She is not commenting on women who are in abusive marriages and due to various psychological and economic factors prefer to remain in those marriages instead of leaving.”
Perhaps I failed to make it clear that my statement was a response to Reb Arie’s comment:
“2. Why you can’t understand why a woman would want to stay in what many might term a “bad relationship”
and not primarily an eisegesis of the author’s article – which I did read.
Yep – understood.