Tikkun Magazine

Tikkun Magazine, March/April 2007

Dear Swami

Where Swami answers your questions and you will question his answers.

By Swami Beyondananda

Psychics will become unnecessary, Swami predicts

Dear Swami: Are you psychic? And if so, what do you see in the cards for our world in the New Year?

RHODA RUDER, Redondo Beach, California

Dear Rhoda: People ask me all the time if I am psychic, and I always give them the same answer: I knew you were going to ask that question. And yet, I am loathe to make predictions for several reasons. First, I don't want to jeopardize my non-prophet status. The Eternal Revenue Service has made it pretty clear that making predictions for money is a no-no. Propheteering, they call it.

The second reason I am unwilling to make predictions is now they are taking psychics to court for malpractice. If I make a prediction and it doesn't come true, I can be sued. In other words, if you're a sucker for a seer and what the seer sees sucks, you can redress your grievance in a seersucker suit.

But you know, the most important reason I don't make predictions is that this is indeed a universe of infinite possibilities, and anything can happen. They try to predict the weather, and one little butterfly fart can change everything.

So if we want truly unpredictable and unrecognizable results, my advice is close your predictionary and turn on your tell-a-vision. Attune yourself to the clearest channel you can receive, and tell your vision to others. Then, put yourself into that picture. Live into that possibility until it becomes a probability. I predict that will lead to a future that is much healthier than the one we are plunging fool-speed ahead into now.

Do we deserve to be happy?

Dear Swami: When I see how many humans behave, I have to question whether we humans are worthy of happiness in the first place. Don't you think it's a bit arrogant to think we deserve to have it any better than we do?

RONNA DEMILLE, Studio City, California

Dear Ronna: Interestingly enough, I posed that very same question to my guru, Harry Cohen Baba, "The Garment Center Saint," and he told the following Zen Cohen: It was Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. The lawyer, the doctor and the banker were all in the front row of the synagogue. As was the custom in those days, each was beating his breast and declaring his unworthiness: "I'm unworthy! I'm unworthy! I'm unworthy!" Just then, the lowly janitor walked in. Observing the scene, he too walked to front and began crying out, "I'm unworthy! I'm unworthy! I'm unworthy!"

At which point, the lawyer turned to the banker and said, "So, look who thinks he's unworthy!"

Ever since that great philosopher said "I think, therefore I am," we've been giving the mind descartes blanche. So let's give the head a little rest and relax in knowing that life is indeed a joke, but God is laughing with us not at us. The Creator is watching the Comedy Channel, and we are what's on. If God is laughing, who are we to not laugh? And if we are the Creator's primary source of entertainment and amusement, we should definitely cut ourselves a little slack.

Want Peace? Meditation is the answer

Dear Swami: I read with interest that you participated in a worldwide meditation for peace a while back. Do these things actually work? If so, where's the proof?

ARETHA FLOWERS, Charlotte, North Carolina

Dear Aretha: Yes, it works and the results were extraordinary. During the entire duration of the meditation, there was not one act of violence perpetrated by anyone taking part. This is an amazing 100 percent success rate! The trick now is to get everyone on the planet meditating all the time.

To learn more about Swami Beyondananda, visit wakeuplaughing.com

Source Citation

Beyondananda, Swami. 2007. Dear Swami. Tikkun 22(2): 80.

tags: Humor