Your point is well taken and in my opinon relevant. That was one place where the author got caught subtly in the paradigm of "us vs them" that he rightly sees as obsolete. Seeing where you're coming from, I suspect that if you haven't already checked it out you'd find some affinity for the Nonviolent Communication that's briefly mentioned in this article.
Checkout www.cnvc.org or email me at temp2@fastmail.fm if interested.

Regards,
Alex