Tikkun Magazine, July/August 2010, Online Exclusives

New Thought: a Joyful Escape from Old Prejudices

by Mark Anthony Lord

About four years ago I attended an interfaith gathering for LGBTQ ministers in Chicago, where I live and am the founder/spiritual director of the Bodhi Spiritual Center (www.bodhispiritualcenter.org), a New Thought, trans-denominational spiritual center/church. Although the gathering was welcoming to all paths of spiritual leadership, 99 percent present were Christian. I represented the 1 percent that identified as other than Christian. I was excited to attend this meeting in hopes of creating deeper connections with other gay ministers, developing a network of support and camaraderie, as well as participating in a vital, necessary conversation about how to help LGBTQ people who are deeply suffering from religious abuse. This abuse has caused so many deeply creative, spiritual LGBTQ people to throw the baby out with the bathwater-God to the curb.

As the sun shone brightly outside, we met in a musty, dark church basement where we sat on old and very uncomfortable folding chairs. I reference this stark contrast because it is such a clear metaphor for what I discovered in that 2-hour meeting, which has strongly influenced why I believe so much pain, separation, and religious abuse continues as opposed to dynamic, joyous healing, which I do believe is ultimately possible.

These LGBTQ Christian ministers introduced themselves, sharing largely on their struggles with blatant discrimination and non-Christian behaviors towards them, not from the world "out there" but from the religious organizations in which they were living and serving. I became more and more uncomfortable and repulsed as I listened to stories of dedicated priests giving their lives to their church, even though their denomination would NOT officially ordain them-because they were gay. I listened to horrible stories of victimization and abuses that were not about the past, but happening today, and not to the people they were serving but to them!

I sat in a circle of well-intended, God-loving LGBTQ ministers who were in desperate need of their own healing from shame and persecution. They were tired and many almost completely broken, and yet they were the ones who were on the front lines offering hope and inspiration to others.

I could not have felt more different from these people about my experience being a minister within a New Thought denomination where I am 100% confident I am deeply loved, appreciated, admired and respected AS A GAY MAN. I was trained at the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, under the direction of Michael Bernard Beckwith, and am affiliated with and ordained by the United Centers for Spiritual Living. (www.unitedcentersforspiritualliving.org) New Thought is not so much a "new thought" as it is a new spin on ancient wisdom teachings of Oneness, inherent Freedom and about a God that is infinite, loving, generous - in and AS all people.

When I discovered New Thought back in the late 1980's I was one of those gay men who shied away from religion altogether and anything to do with God because of my traumatic experience as a child where I was daily, covertly abused and not protected by the Catholic Church. I didn't believe in God and I chose the stance of "I don't care if God believes in me." But, deep down I did care. The truth is I was afraid, wounded, ashamed and didn't know where to go or what to do about it ... so like the millions of LGBTQ people, I just left. Entering that New Thought church, albeit very resistantly, changed my life in the most positive way.

New Thought churches and spiritual centers all over the country and world boldly, clearly and effortlessly declare themselves as safe havens for LGBTQ people. They are a place where we can heal our shame.

The unsolvable challenge I witnessed at that LGBTQ interfaith gathering was that people were trying to heal LGBTQ-phobia within an organization that was teaching it, supporting it, promoting it and not so interested in changing it. And, to make it even more impossible, this LGBTQ-phobia existed within the people themselves. They were victims, and yes, victims can help other victims but only if they are committed to getting out of the victimizing situation. I felt like I was in a room of abused wives who were complaining about the abuse but not willing to leave the house in which it was happening.

I don't mean to come off so harshly against them, but I do wish to boldly express what I saw, even at the risk of offending. The LGBTQ ministers I met were good people, scared and sad, but they were also desperately wanting a solution, freedom and a way to help others. They were authentic in that desire ... I just couldn't understand how to be a part of it from the place I was standing, or uncomfortably sitting.

I left that meeting, admittedly clear I was not to return ... it just wasn't for me. I also left that meeting enormously grateful for New Thought and for the God that brought me to spiritual homes, churches and centers where they not only preached the love of God; they genuinely lived it, shared it and trusted it not just for some people, but for absolutely everyone!

The New Thought churches/centers are not without their challenges in regards to LGBTQ issues. I spent about a month traveling the country speaking at New Thought centers about the importance of sacred activism and powerful participation in the current LGBTQ civil rights movement. They were gracious in opening their doors to me, but I struggled in helping New Thought people see that there's a serious problem that we can be a part of solving. I had several people from different New Thought centers say to me, "We don't have homophobia here and our LGBTQ people are loved ... there's nothing wrong." There was a denial or at the very least an unwillingness to really get involved, take a stand and make a difference on the field, where the battle is taking place.

I believe every organization has its gifts, blind spots, point, and purpose. I believe there are those of us who are called to remain committed to the religions of our childhood and cause change, however slowly the wheel turns. Still, there are those of us who are called to build something new that doesn't have as much baggage, history, or dogma. But, whichever one we are called to, what I am very clear about is that all change must begin within. Individually and collectively, we have to do the work of clearing out our own guilt and shame so that we can stand before anyone and everyone positively declaring our wholeness and perfection in God. The blame game has to end, and I'm very clear that it has to end with me.

What I know is that God is happy and well pleased that I am gay ... he/she/it made me that way. I'm certain of it. And to deny it-to hide it under a bushel or deem it less than holy-would be one of the biggest "sins" I could commit.

Mark Anthony Lord is Founder and Director of the Bodhi Spiritual Center (formerly Chicago Center for Spiritual Living), a spiritual community committed to revealing love, honoring all paths and celebrating life.